#mentalhealthawarenessmonth day 23
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You’re not CRAZY! People just are ignorant to what mental illness is. My mind doesn’t seem to work the way most people’s do, which is partly mental illness related and likely part just how I was made. I also suffered a brain virus as a child that left doctors puzzled when I recovered but now the affects of that are likely related to my mental issues. I’m not special, I don’t think, but the professionals that treat me think I’m unique, different, and while they agree I have a diagnosed condition, they feel I’m simply a mind that isn’t like others. It’s why I tend to seem contrarian or purposefully outside the norms of society, I just don’t understand a lot of that stuff. I don’t experience joy, like normal people do, but I also struggle to enjoy most things, it’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because my brain doesn’t respond like it should. Whether it’s a action packed movie, a concert of my favorite band or even a beautiful nature scene, I just feel pretty much neutral, not excited, just grey. I’m on meds to try to see if it can help me be excited, because after my success in school, my psychiatrist thought I should be more pumped about things, I still feel really grey despite being grateful. So I guess this post is saying, just because someone isn’t excited, of happy, or into everything people are supposed to be, doesn’t mean they are being “too cool” it could be something much more complex, don’t just judge, get to know them first. You might learn something or help them in understanding. #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #mentalhealth #writersofinstagram #artistsoninstagram #poetryofinstagram
#mentalhealthawarenessmonth day 22
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Hiding is something those of us with anxiety, depression and other forms of mental illness are good at. Social media has allowed us to hide from the real world yet appear social, and engaged. Truth is, I hide all the time. Before social media and cellphones, in the darkest days of my addiction I’d hide in my Philadelphia apartment for days, even if people came by, I’d be in bed for most days, or somewhere doing something with someone no one else knew. Addiction is all about hiding and I hid my addiction from everyone, for about 11 years, and my alcoholism for 20+. I hid a lot from myself too, because I was in denial about it all. When I finally cane into the full light of day I was 37 years old and I was about to have my life change all around. In the 7 years since I’ve lost my home, my community, my tribe, and my marriage. I also saw my health decline, my mental and physical, as well as my social skills. I had to come out of hiding to start over, rebuild and reconnect. It’s been a slow process, as I’ve built a few new friendships and now have professional help for my illnesses. It wasn’t easy to come out of my hole though.
Hiding is a natural response to fear or danger. For many of us that have trauma it’s our brains telling us to hide, because we are scared. We fear people, places, judgement, and a variety of irrational things. So it’s okay to hide, but we have to poke our heads out now and again because people do care about us. #writersofinstagram #poetryofinstagram #artistsoninstagram #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #hiding #fear #fightorflight #survival
West Side Market – 2016
